Poetry Month 2023 Post #27: “PTSD”

April is #NationalPoetryMonth and it is also #SexualAssaultAwareness month (I just found that out yesterday!).  So today I am combining my Poem-A-Day post to speak to both. I am a rape survivor. And someone who has chronic PTSD. I wrote this poem last summer.


Mind racing.
Stomach turning,
churning, chest burning.
Something is not ok.

Brewing, chewing,
stewing with it all.
The disequilibrium.
The dread.
Thoughts darting, dipping in
my head.

What will he do with
the softest parts of me?
With the moments of truth?
With the powers that be?

I’ve exposed more
than I ever thought I could,
would say.
Foreboding, imploding.
My body feels pulled,
pushed, unlulled, undulled.

Fully activated,
systems on watch.
problems before they arise.
Head off explosions.
Avert your eyes.

Forget your needs.
Follow his leads.
Your needs
won’t, don’t, can’t
protect you.

Surviving may be the best
I can do right now.
Stay with your feelings.
Do I even know how?

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