Calling Audibles Part V: The Agony of Defeat

The Agony of Defeat–On the way home from Virginia Tech

Crisp fall afternoons
repetition, one more time
details, instincts, well worn paths
routes
putting the pieces together
of a winning combination

step by step
moving toward the present goal
careful attention
solid determination

confidence builds
coming into its own
in time for the flurry
the buzz of a night
with lights blazing
and expectations high

don’t lose sight
or hope
don’t forget the process
the steps
the feeling those steps
have
you can do this
one step at a time

stay focused
don’t flinch
breathe and move
in concert with the ways
you’ve come to know
by heart

even so
yes, still, with all the
practice
and know-how
with your heart so fully
open to the possibility
that this can be your moment
this could be the day

even so
unraveled moments
and lost connections
jarred bodies
and aching bones
the thrill of what might have been
gives way to the hard thud
of
what is

over
vacant
time gone
energy retracts
and disapproval looms
and not another
place to find
to set yourself in motion

no longer in sync with a dream
now you waken
in your exhaustion
and realize
all over
again
the bitter way
those fall afternoons
suddenly
seem
so utterly incomplete

that is the agony of defeat